Romanceland, You’re Breaking My Heart

What. The. Fuck. Romanceland.

Vintage Danger, High Voltage Sign

Y’all. We’ve had so much going on. So much of it … not good. I’m just … bewildered. Head in hands too many times to count of late.

I’d been debating on whether or not to write a post about Santino Hassell since all that started coming out. And then Sarah Lyons.

But now … something entirely different, and I feel like they’re parallels. But definitely not the same.

First of all … wow was a lot of the SH “stuff”… bad and handled badly. (Lots of authors/people in positions of power attacking … and … I’m still not entirely sure what all happened, but it appears there was catfishing, potential fraud (if cancer was made up and funds solicited, and puh-leeze let’s not be disingenuous enough to think “hey I used my patreon funds for my cancer treatment” didn’t solicit any sort of response or giving), using peoples stories from catfishing in books without permission. … I just … I don’t even know. If you want to go digging, this has [a lot] and a name that comes up is Nikki and I read her entire [then] twitter timeline of 1200 or thereabouts tweets … (I haven’t checked since the last time I looked and don’t plan to…)

For Sarah Lyons … Xen Sanders is I think the person who spoke up so I’ll link that here.

Evil Fangly Snarling Bear

But … most importantly, is this. Do not. For ANY reason EVER. EVER!!!! Tell someone to kill him or herself.
Even if it’s euthanasia, leave it up to the person.

I don’t care what that person did. Hell even if they killed someone – they should face the justice such as it is – of the courts.

I’m not going to name the person, because the last message circulating is from the victim’s family member saying “Please don’t message her or my family.” So …

I don’t like speaking when I don’t have every possible detail, but this is too important not to – and I tried to look but … I think there’s so much noise now (and likely deleting of posts and such >.>) that … who knows. ANYWAY – from what I can gather, a cover artist used a stock image – either for promo, or a cover I don’t know. And two(?) authors accused her of theft … and their fans just piled on. ~80+ people sent her nasty messages, telling her to kill herself, and other awful messages. Grown ass women.

It’s just gross. And so wrong.

I know people might be all “well you’re one to talk.” And sure – I might be bitchy and subtweet and mean and judgey, but I’d like to say they’re all about pretty basic things. (And if someone has an issue with me please do bring it up.) And I feel pretty damn sure I have never told someone to go kill him or herself.

I mean … I don’t even really know what to say. This was all over a book cover!?

REALLY?!

I had no idea any of this happened until March 18, when I saw an author speaking out against bullying, saying cyber bullying had led to someone attempting suicide. I don’t even know when this all went down, or like I said the image.
And look – EVEN IF she DID straight up steal the image (which, if it was a stock image I find highly unlikely…) – YOU STILL DON’T TELL SOMEONE TO KILL HERSELF.

I’m sure I’m preaching to the choir here, because I know the readers of ALBTALBS are wonderful and kind – and I mean that. (Like, I’ve said before – you’re all much nicer than I am …)

And here’s the thing. Call out bad behavior – yes. If something is wrong, it’s wrong. But there are ways to go about doing it – and definitely don’t pile on. If you can, diffuse. (Because seriously – if this was all over a stock image … do people not understand how stock images work?! Really??)

It hurts my heart this has happened in the community. I love you Romanceland … but you’re breaking my damn heart.

Broken Heart, Broken Cookies

6 thoughts on “Romanceland, You’re Breaking My Heart

  1. ki pha

    Sometimes, it just makes me glad I’m not on social media as much anymore to see all this nastiness. It’s just not the same old love anymore.

    Reply
    1. Limecello Post author

      Ki – I MISS YOU!!! <3 <3 <3 I agree though it’s harder and harder and you have to cultivate carefully… and even then someone you thought was always going to be good like … stabs you in the back (or heart). So glad to “see” you though! <3 <3 <3

      Reply
  2. Laurel

    This has definitely been a weird month. I must admit I don’t really understand why people feel so compelled to support authors via Patreon – maybe I am old, but I thought buying their published works was enough. I appreciate that people thought they were helping someone they thought was sick, but I do find it strange. I thought the SH stuff was bad, but it did just seem to be the tip of the iceberg. Romance is my escape, probably true for a lot of people, and to find it contains such hateful behavior as catfishing, racism, and the ugliness of telling me people to kill themselves, it just boggles my mind. I am sure ugly things have always happened, but social media’s speed and wide access at spreading the hate is just horrible. Thanks for putting into words what I have been feeling.

    Reply
    1. Limecello Post author

      Hi Laurel!

      I agree I have … mixed? feelings? With crowdfunded projects etc that authors and “other creators” are doing. I know a few years ago there was just *outrage* but these days it seems … everyone is doing it. [Familiarity breeds … resignation?]
      Thank you for commenting <3
      I think … yes, ugliness has always existed, but also that too many people don’t know how to behave on the internet/forget themselves, so it’s enhanced? Or maybe I’m just trying to justify it.

      I will say though, that there is still a lot of loveliness in the romance community, and so many authors and books are great.

      … 😐 Just these days, I think what with knowing more (potentially) about someone if it’s significant enough I think XYZ should be shared, for readers to decide for themselves if they still want to read/support certain authors.

      Reply

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