Author Archives: ALBTALBS

ALBTALBS Presents: Were-Spoof Stories 2.3! Night of the Were-Hare by N.R. Lines

Hi friends! Sorry for the delay. Totally my fault :X If you’re totally new to A Little Bit Tart, A Little Bit Sweet (ALBTALBS), you’ve been missing out on spoof were-animal stories! More recently we’ve had a specific sort, that was going up weekly, but I broke the pattern. But have no fear! Today we have the last but definitely not least installment of this “series.” So, enjoy!

Night of the Were-Hare

Of all the places to have a flat tire Clyde had to choose this stretch of lonely highway. The highway Katie’s GPS had her believing was a shortcut back to civilization. Katie kicked the front tire of her ancient 1982 Pontiac Bonneville, cursing whoever had used an air-wrench to tighten the lug nuts to the point where only someone with super human strength could loosen them. She leaned inside the open passenger side window, grabbed her cell phone off the seat, cursed again when she got exactly zero bars.

Fuck!

She had exactly three options. Stay on this secluded piece of shit road hoping someone who wasn’t a serial killer drove by and was willing to help. Hoof it out on her own. In the heels she had on for the wedding. Over the decaying road. For who knew how many miles. Continue reading

Release Day Guest Author: Sophie Barnes!

It’s that time of year when I start to turn to holiday themed romance novels to help put me in a cheerful holiday spirit. Today ALBTALBS friend <3 Sophie Barnes is joining us to share how her new Christmas novel almost wasn’t and what she did to make sure this story got into the hands of her readers. And I for one am thrilled that Christmas at Thorncliff Manor is out today!

Christmas at Thorncliff ManorMy road to becoming a published romance author began in 2009 when I made my first attempt at writing a novel. Once finished, I submitted it to every publisher I could find and received more than fifty rejection letters in return. It wasn’t easy being told my story wasn’t good enough, but being the determined sort, I wasn’t about to give up either. So I put that story aside – re-reading it now I’m glad it never saw the light of day – and went to work on a new one, the one that would turn me into an established author. Continue reading

ALBTALBS Presents: Were-Spoof Stories 2.2! Wonderland by David Faulkner

Hi friends! Do you remember the spoof stories from way back when? We can all thank (er, blame?) twitter for all of it. But – what inspired this round was of course, a tweet. This one right here.

Today we have David Faulkner sharing the story he wrote inspired by that image. You’ll want to read this one – promise! 

Wonderland

Chapter 1

I had fuck all to do with it.” I’m getting tired of their questions and my patience has worn thin, “Now charge me or let me go.”

You’re free to go—but don’t leave town,” the detective says to my back. Continue reading

ALBTALBS Presents: Were-Spoof Stories 2.1! Nice Buns by Cecilia London

Hi friends! Today we have Cecilia London guesting, and I almost feel that we can call her a semi-regular! You have to have an excellent sense of humor to be part of the club of ALBTALBS Spoof Stories, and I’m slowly but surely acquiring a nice collection. In fact, we’ve already got four were-specific spoof stories!

Without further ado… welcome back to ALBTALBS were-spoof shorts!

Nice Buns by Cecilia London

The fuck does a rabbit have to do to get a goddamn decent smoke around here? You’d think being immortal, and a rabbit, and a fucking awesome Creature of the Night (hello, ladies!) would get you some fucking benefits but how the fuck was I to know that cigarette taxes were fucking high in Illinois and it’s not that goddamn easy for a rabbit to waltz into a gas station and ask for a pack of Marlboros. Continue reading

SHHM Guest Caridad Pineiro On The Challenge of Being a Latina Writer

Hi friends! Today we have a really thoughtful and lovely post from Caridad Pineiro, a first time guest at ALBTALBS! 🙂 Not only that, but this is the last of Smithsonian Hispanic Heritage Month! (Yes, that is what the “SHHM” stands for in the title of all these posts, if you haven’t already figured that out 😛 ) I hope you enjoyed all the featured authors, and found some new to you authors that you’ll pick up! <3 

The Challenge In Being a Latina Writer

One Summer NightThere has been a lot of talk lately about the lack of diversity in the romance novel industry in part thanks to a survey done by The Ripped Bodice. The results of the survey indicated that only approximately 7.8% of novels were by “nonwhite authors” or “people of color.”

As a long time writer of novels with Latinas, it made me wonder where they put me in that survey since I’m a white Latina. It also made me wonder how they addressed the novels that I write where Latinas aren’t the main protagonists which led to my next thought: Do people think that as a Latina writer I should only write novels about Latinas? Continue reading

SHHM Guest Priscilla Oliveras Issues a Call for Help

Giving to Those in Need

When Limecello invited me to join her blog for Hispanic Heritage Month, I jumped at the chance to share my thoughts on a variety of topics related to life as a Latina. But after spending the past few weeks preparing for and dealing with hurricanes Irma and Maria, the focus for many Latino families has rightfully moved from cultural celebrations to how we can help our families, friends, and, for those living in the areas affected, themselves in the aftermath of the storms’ devastation.

From the destruction of homes and businesses to the decimation of agricultural land, my mother’s native island of Puerto Rico and people who live there have suffered great loss.

There is much work to do. Rebuilding will take time and resources. So, as Hispanic Heritage Month comes to a close, my hope is to take this opportunity to share information for a variety of entities that are working hard to bring aid and assistance to those in need. Continue reading

SHHM Guest Author Sela Carson: “The Whitest Latina You Know”

Hi friends! We’re rolling on with Smithsonian Hispanic Heritage Month, and I am loving it! Today we have Sela Carson, who is a first time guest at ALBTALBS, so everyone please give her a warm welcome! <3

The Whitest Latina You’ll Ever Meet

Mi nombre es Sela Carsen y yo soy sooooooooper white.

I’m not even kidding. There is nothing about me that says “stereotypical Hispanic.” Light brown hair, blue-green eyes, and I only tan if I work at it.

My mother, a US naturalized citizen from Honduras, “looks” Latina. Brown skin, curly dark hair, and golden eyes. I’ve had people ask me if she was the maid.

For the record, that is not okay. Continue reading

SHHM Guest Danni Rose: “Angel Food Cake to Tortillas”

We are having so much fun with guest posts for Smithsonian Hispanic Heritage Month we decided to continue with one more! We have another new to ALBTALBS author, and we couldn’t be more excited! It’s always fun to read new authors, and here is a chance to get to know debut author Danni Rose a little better! 

Angel Food Cake to Tortillas

My mother is an excellent cook, me—not so much. My lack of skill was apparent the first time I made a cake. Using a box cake mix, I planned to make the perfect cake. I mixed the batter, put the cake in the oven, and waited anxiously for it to be done. Imagine my disappointment when, instead of a cake, I pulled out an angel food Frisbee. Continue reading

SHHM Guest Andie J. Christopher: “White, Black, and Puerto Rican All Over

Today we welcome author Andie J. Christopher to ALBTALBS! Andie joins us with a guest post for Smithsonian Hispanic Heritage Month, and we are thrilled to have her! We also hope you are enjoying our SHHM guest posts as much as we have. Please give Andie a warm ALBTALBS welcome!

White, Black, and Puerto Rican All Over

My mom is white. Specifically, her ancestors were Irish, French-Canadian, and German/Polish. My father was black, French, and Puerto Rican, although he identified simply as black. My paternal grandmother was a jazz singer who fluttered around the margins of fame for about sixty years. She smoked like a chimney, drank like a fish, married about as many times as Elizabeth Taylor, and had a wolfish laugh I’ll never forget. She also had an affair with a Puerto Rican musician during the 1950’s, which produced my father. My father never knew his father and grew up as the cherished child in a matriarchal household. (I think my grandmother would have enjoyed being referred to as a “matriarch.”) Continue reading

SHHM Guest: Mia Sosa on “Looking Latina” (Or not!)

Welcome to another Smithsonian Hispanic Heritage Month post! Can you believe it’s almost the end of September already? Today we welcome to ALBTALBS author Mia Sosa. Mia also has a book out this month (Acting on Impulse) so be sure to check that out as well.

“You don’t look Latina.”

As I was trying to brainstorm what to write about in celebration of Hispanic Heritage Month, I came across a tweet from Zoraida Córdova that resonated with me. For context, here’s the tweet: Continue reading