Re-writes of the Third Kind

Okay, so this actually has nothing to do with… that sci-fi film which I’ve never seen, but… I dunno. I just liked how it sounded. No aliens here, what I’m hoping we discuss today is… are there any books you’d re-write or like to re-write?

That nearest and dearest to my heart? Little Women. (Side note: zomfg – the book is only $3.95! Or the kindle edition is only $0.99! If you don’t have this book you must get it!)

I HATE that Laurie ups and marries Amy. I never warm to Amy even though she supposedly grows up into a nice young lady/woman whatever. Bitch. I can’t stand her, and that she gets the hottest, richest guy? One who obviously wasn’t steady as he was all “Oh Jo I looveseses you! And you rejecting me has crushed me!” … “Oh hai hot young sissah. I wantchu. I lurves you. Let’s get hitched!” … Bastard. And that Amy is in Europe because of her aunt. I hate all of that.

Then Jo just… marries her boring old German Professor who in my head has always been somewhat bear like. Probably because that’s how my 6th(?) grade brain pronounced his name. It’s been a few years since I read the book.

I had this discussion with a few people on twitter before, and I said I hoped that Dr. Bhaer is amazing in the sack. It’d only be just if Jo had the good sexing and Amy and Laurie were all puritan and… blah. I’ve always identified with Jo – I don’t know, the long hair, and it being her “one true beauty…” – one syllable name too 😉 And Amy. Ugh. No.

So if I re-wrote it, or had the chance (although, yes, I kinda do love it how it is, but in fanfic world/discussion of fun) … I’d kill off Amy instead of Beth. Beth was so lovely and gentle and nice. I’d be okay with Laurie marrying Beth. Also, he didn’t try very hard to win Jo – bastard. But hopefully he’d work at deserving Beth. I just… I guess I don’t see Laurie and Jo together. But I’d make sure Dr. Bhaer is super hot – and rich. Some sort of world renowned expert- or from old money.

Then there’s Gone with the Wind. I remain convinced that Rhett and Scarlett do reunite at some point, and are happy. I mean, Rhett loved her. He loved her and put up with her for so long. Yes… he got fed up, but not permanently. He can’t have. And Scarlett finally wised up. My faith in humanity will forever be destroyed if they don’t/didn’t get back together. Although I think it was someone (either Megan F or Jessica R who linked to this article on Gone with the Wind which sadly kinda ruined it for me forever… but the Clark Gable + Vivien Leigh pairing was… well, epic, frankly.)

I always think people hate too much on Scarlett – she’s a survivor, and held everyone up and supported them, but they hated her. Her friends and family hated her for going into business, even though they depended on the money she brought in to survive. Granted, yes, she did it in shady ways. I think what might bother me most was her life experiences that didn’t teach her – all the kids. Though… I guess society now is a clear indication parenthood doesn’t necessarily mean much.

And lastly… I guess the Count of M- ok actually, second to last. The Count of Monte Cristo. I’d make Haydée older. I guess I don’t… like Edmond with Mercedes. None of us are surprised I’m kinda vengeful/hold a grudge, right? 😛

Ok, and lastly – for real this time – Cyrano de Bergerac. I wouldn’t have Cyrano be dead at the end, because… you know that ruins everything. Although did Roxanne really deserve him for being too dumb to see through Christian? Then again… Cyrano… anyway, whatever. I wouldn’t have him die at the end and he and Roxanne could live happily ever after. Or something.

So… my question to you is, how do you feel about Little Women? Who’s with me!? 😉 And, what book did you love, but would also kinda love to see changed? And how? Let’s go crazy and make the authors spin in their graves 😛

0 thoughts on “Re-writes of the Third Kind

  1. Sasha Devlin

    Don’t stone me, but I’ve never finished Little Women. I’ve tried multiple times, but I just can’t. I hate Amy too much and I like my female characters to be …ballsyer I guess.

    I’d rewrite Faulkner’s The Sound and the Fury. I love this book, but it has always infuriated me that the entire book is about Caddy (the sister) and yet we never get any of the story from her POV.

    1. Limecello Post author

      Sasha – hee, actually, I don’t hate you because your reasoning is sound. I hate Amy too. I hate her so damn much. Although I would say Jo is rather ballsy – cutting off her hair for money, going off into the city to make a living etc…
      And now it’s my turn to ask you not to hurt me – I’ve never read Faulkner. I don’t really know why but I never quite got into American authors. Really only Salinger, didn’t much like F. Scott Fitzgerald, really only like Knowles that I read… :X *hides*

      1. Bella F.

        aw, I loved The Great Gatsby and it was one of the few school assigned books I re-read several times in 9th grade. Never read any of Fitzgerald’s other stuff , but I loved A Separate Peace. My weim is named Phineas lol
        I have the cliche habit of naming my pets after book characters 😛

      2. Limecello Post author

        Bella, Ahhhhhh I LOVE that you named your weim Phineas!!! Too too cute! As for the Great Gatsby… enh. Maybe it was more ruined by the fact that I heard a Great Gatsby *opera* while once trying to work on a project. I … anyway it was traumatizing. Opera. Jazz. Just… no.

  2. knittingknots

    I was just talking about how Scarlet kept everybody in her extended family going at the worst possible time. I admire her fortitude, her strengths. It’s hard to imagine what would have happened to her family if she hadn’t been there. I definitely admire more than hate.

    Oh, I was never happy with Amy/Laurie! I’m glad you said that!

    My secret rewrite is to retell the Odyssey (or at least big parts of it) through the eyes of the women in Odysseus’ trip home – Circe, Calypso, Penelope, especially. I’ve even done some small pieces towards it already. I particularly have always felt sorry for Calypso. Odysseus was just not that into her.

    1. Limecello Post author

      Yay! Someone who agrees with me about Scarlet! Also, I think the fact that I saw the movie before reading the book may have helped – Vivien Leigh was brilliant. <3

      I think a lot of us feel that way about Little Women. Freaking hate Amy :X

      As for the Odyssey – wow, I'd never thought of it from the women's point of view- aside from Penelope – but her side kinda sucks. Just… no husband, trying to keep the country running, dealing with assholes who want to marry me but not really… but with a spin that'd be an awesome story, I think!

      1. knittingknots

        A guy like Odysseus who has 3 goddesses who love him (Circe, Calypso, and, platonically (at least officially) Athene,) but chooses the wife of his youth to finish out his days with is kind of extra interesting anyway. It fascinates me, his interaction with these women. One day, maybe.

  3. Slush (Landra Graf)


    I definitely think that Amy should have gone the way of the dinosaurs, and if I was her sister you would not expect kindness.

    Unfortunately while I feel that Scarlett is down and rotten, she did get back with Rhett in the Gone with the Wind sequel. Even had another daughter. If you have not read ‘Scarlett’ then you should. It’s a great read.

    Personally, I would re-write Gone with the Wind from Rhett’s point of view. I always wondered what he was really thinking about and how he could fall in love with Scarlett. Personally I would give up too if she just crossed that line too many times.

    1. Limecello Post author

      Landra, I always thought Jo was too nice about that. I would’ve like… cut her off. Made her feel bad. Bitch. (Amy.)

      I did read Scarlett, actually, like… :X in middle school? (Also, arghh – I had ScarletT but then usu people only have on t and I let them sway me.) But… I didn’t like it because it wasn’t written by Mitchell. I think Ripley got lucky selling basically a winding [bad] fanfic. It was too much with like the evil Rhett doppleganger. And I just… remember a lot of ridiculousness. Sad. The only good thing though, yes, was that Scarlett and Rhett got back together.

      I agree he got fed up, but that’s why he left at the end. BUT HE’S COMING BACK. I think he just… admired her spirit and saw a lot more depth in her than she, or anyone else did. He also admired her strength, and of course good looks. And the fact that she was a rebel and didn’t even know it. She was always a little bit naughty and didn’t care to/couldn’t follow the mores of society – even if she thought she wanted to.

  4. Bella F.

    LOL! I’m SOOO with you on Little Women and Gone with the Wind!! The other books/movies I’ve never read or seen so I don’t know bout those. But I loved movie Scarlett so much I wanted my name to be Scarlett as a kid and when my mom explained it was a no-go, I promptly named my new puppy Scarlett instead, lol. Read the book when I got older and still really loved it though I never could get away from Vivian Leigh as my Scarlett so I’d have loved her no matter what after that.
    Also loved Jo and wanted more happiness for her too. It never occurred to me that Beth could have married Laurie but I quite like that scenario for my rewrite too! Both he and Beth were people with good hearts so I couldnt think of a match I’d enjoy more 🙂
    If I could rewrite a book, or in my case a series, that I love it would be Mockingjay from Hunger Games. I would make sure… oh wait…have you read the Hunger Games series?? I dont want to ruin any endings if u havent.
    It’s YA but shares with GWTW the female protagonist who is a survivor, and that’s probably my favorite kind of hero(ine)…

    1. Limecello Post author

      Bella, I just had a long involved conversation with a friend about GWTW yesterday… we decided it was the “Twilight” of it’s day. I do love the romance – and I LOVE the movie. Vivien Leigh is… well there are no words for it. But the book itself, the ideology and what it revered… horrid. Sad. But if you block the socio-political commentary, yes. 😀 So… basically the movie-fied version. Although I would have liked to see Will…

      I think Jo is happy… I just wish it was more blatant that Prof Baher is like… stunning, you know? Like if he was a version of Matt Bomer? I’d be all “go girl, you get ‘im, Jo!” 😛

  5. StacieDM

    Amy got EVERYTHING handed to her on a silver platter! I hated her so much. Beth got a piano and an early grave, poor thing.

    I would probably re-write Madame Bovary. Good lord that was a depressing book. Everyone was ruined at the end. She made so many bad decisions. She wanted the excitement of her romance books but reality fell short. She married a country doctor for god’s sake not an aristocrat! I can appreciate her desire for a different life but she just kept digging herself into a deeper hole.

    1. Limecello Post author

      Stacie – wow, succinctly and perfectly put. *steals your brain* 😉
      Oof. Madame Bovary… Jude the Obscure… what’s with all these classics and the horrible lives the characters lead?! Also, I think you should go ahead with that re-write 😉 I can beta for you 😀

      Although… I’m more bloodthirsty. I’d probably kill Emma off earlier, and make Charles more exciting, and give him a better [third] wife :X

  6. Booklover1335

    I had to totally laugh at your rant on Little Women, but I have to say that I completely agree. Though it seems that “golden” people always get things handed to them and live happy beautiful lives for no apparent reason other than they just seem to be lucky that way.

    I do have a feeling though that Laurie and Amy are happy together, but I also think that Laurie will always have a secret tendre for Jo. I think Jo’s professor is passionate in everything that he does, which is what Jo finds so attractive about him. Jo definitely gets the better end of the bargain, but it is irksome that Laurie and Amy get together. That always bothered me!

    I love this book too, but I don’t think any of the sequels ever lived up to LW. I have an illustrated copy that I can’t wait to share with my niece when she gets older. So help me, she will love that book too or else 🙂

    1. Limecello Post author

      Carrie – not only does Amy get everything handed to her, she’s a brat. She was a total bitch as a kid. I never forgave her :X
      Hm… I don’t want Laurie and Amy to be happy with each other. I guess then can be content – maybe – but I *do* like Laurie carrying the torch for Jo 😉 Suffer, baby. I’m also for your depiction of the professor. Also, it’s obvious he really loves her. And that he’d be constant – so yes, in that he’s already better than flaky stupid Laurie.
      HAHAHA I love the “she better love this book or else!” I had some hilarious crazy thought the first time I read your comment but I was on super fever brain, so it’s for the best I’ve forgotten.
      And yes, Little Men, and Jo’s Boys just… aren’t the same.

    1. Limecello Post author

      Write it, Michelle! 😉 But… plz make Scarlett a bit less stupid/Rhett and Scarlett get back together in the end, kay?!

      Otherwise… don’t. 😛

  7. Katy Madison

    I totally think Scarlett and Rhett get back together, but she’s treated him so badly she needed to grovel for a long, long time before he should accept her. I think she’s just starting to grow up at the end of Gone With the Wind.

    Never was a Little Women fan, probably because my older sister loved it. And I’m perverse enough to hate anything she loved, just on principle.

    And I think I must need to reread The Count of Monte Cristo, because I don’t remember Haydee–How sad is that?

    And of course anytime they kill off a main character at the end is bad.

    1. Limecello Post author

      Katy – yes! That’s it exactly! I agree with the need for Scarlett to grovel, and I like… never think that. But if ever someone had to grovel, Scarlett would be it. I also agree with her just starting to grow up. Even with three kids she never really… matured.

      As for Little Women… that’s kinda cute :X – about you and your older sister. What’s the age difference between the two of you? My older sister forced me to read everything she had to. Which… made for some complicated issues in high school because I would have already done readings/assignments which would ruin some of the teacher’s lesson plans. Evil sister. I didn’t think it was evil of her until much later though. <– naive.

      Also, yes! You must re-read The Count! Haydee doesn't have a big big part, but she is Edmond's future. Well, she has more of a part but that wasn't as memorable to me. The poison etc stuff is though – I don't know why but I always picture it as something like a tiny ball of wasabi.

      Have I mentioned I'm still on fever brain?

  8. Katrina

    I don’t believe it. I just wrote a post this weekend about how I’d change the end of Gone With the Wind, but I haven’t posted it yet!

    I have a whole fantasy around Rhett and Scarlett’s long life together. They drive each other nuts but can’t live without each other. And that’s why books are awesome – they can continue and evolve in my imagination.


    1. Limecello Post author

      Katrina – hee! We’re super brain! As for Rhett and Scarlett’s life – YES! I think they drive each other nuts, but once they’re together it’s not a “I hate you” nuts… more like “you make me so damn crazy – but I love you. … but it doesn’t mean I don’t want to smack you – but we’re in this together.” Also, of course there would be no smacking. Well, maybe a small tap from Scarlett. Rhett was a beast, so he could take it 😉

  9. Calila

    oh I love your Little Women Rant, I have to say thought, I’ve never liked Laurie..AT…All. I makes a weirdo, but I’ve preferred Prof. Bhaer so really Amy getting stuck with Laurie is perfect punishment in my mind.

    Totally agree with your Scarlett love. She was just too kick ass for a woman of her time. Rhett just needed a break before he went back. I refuse to believe that a woman who chased after as lame a guy as Ashley for YEARS would let Rhett go that easy.

    I’d re-write Phantom Of The Opera if I could. How Christine went with Raoul when she could’ve had Erik is beyond me.

    1. Limecello Post author

      Calila – oh how interesting! Why didn’t you like Laurie? I think he just *seems* so perfect because they grew up together, are such good friends – mates – in the friend sense… and he’s rich and good looking, so your stereotypical “good catch” you know?
      Yes! Rhett needed a break, and I’ll definitely give him that. But he DOES go back – and… good point. Scarlett is one determined chick. And now that she ACTUALLY realizes she really loves Rhett… she’s gonna hunt him down 😀

      Oooo a Phantom re-write! Raoul always kinda made me chuckle :X Love triangle threesome! 😉

  10. JenB

    I thought I commented on this the other night. Hmm…

    I haven’t read Little Women, but I did see the movie. :X

    And yeah, I’d totally kill off Amy instead, and I’d have Jo and Laurie end up together.

    This isn’t really a romance, but I’d also have the Awakening by Kate Chopin end differently. Like, you know…


    …not with the heroine drowning herself. O_o

    1. Limecello Post author


      As for the Awakening… didn’t you not love it as much on your re-read last year? I don’t know. It’s… kinda fitting she swims out to sea and well, dies. The book would really lose a lot of oomph if she didn’t, you know?
      But yeah – definitely not a happy book.

    1. Limecello Post author

      Lisa – I’ve never seen Roxanne! Now I must! Also Steve Martin is quite funny 😀 Although >.< I sometimes confuse him with Leslie Nielsen… which isn't so good, especially now :X


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