The ALBTALBS Debut of The Romance Man!

So… if you’ve been around for a while, you know I wanted to do a feature on Men Who Read Romance. I thought it’d be an interesting counter part to the guest readers we have each month. I then started asking around, but then Thea Harrison had the same idea about ~2 weeks later, and her response was overwhelming, so I tabled mine. (Then also people were all “well I want to hear what women have to say.” And I had to very nicely say I already do that. In fact, on Saturday we’ve got SonomaLass visiting with us. 

But the point is – as part of my original search, The Romance Man burst onto the scene in romance land and he’s kinda a big deal. He’s got quite the following, and I can’t imagine the harem he’d have if he ever went to one of the conferences. (I think his wife should tease him mercilessly about that, but I don’t know RM or Lexie that well.) Anyway, I got him to agree to guest every other month. I told him he could talk about anything he wanted to. And he can. I just suggested for the first post, he write an introduction of sorts. He has a pretty good “About” page on his site – I thought he’d just do a few sentences, then go into what he offered to write initially. (Which I guess/imagine will show up in September.)

This is what he sent.

I would like to apologize up front. I wanted to write a blog about the proper way to stimulate the clitoris because it is the only thing in the world I am good at but Limecello insisted I write an introduction and she is very bossy – (I don’t know why people say that…>.>) so I will have to save that blog for another time. That was a really long fucking sentence I think there should have been a comma somewhere.

My name is Wrath and I have a blog called The Romance Man. You can google it and it is on page 15,473. Ok I lied my real name isn’t Wrath but that’s what my wife calls me ever since she read Dark Lover. I am forty-two years old and I live in Florida. I am a small business owner and the father of three beautiful girls that are allegedly mine.

About eight months ago I read my first romance novel and I have been hooked ever since. The book was Because of You by Jessica Scott. I really liked it and I began reading more and more books. I was surprised at how good these books were because I thought, like a lot of people, that romance novels were stupid books written for stupid women. I had fallen into that whole elitist, romance novels aren’t real literature bullshit. I have come to find out that romance readers and writers are some of the smartest women I have ever met. My blog has become pretty popular and I talk to these women all the time and they are smart, educated women and they get a bad rap from the dickhead critics in the world who think they know good writing but could never write a book themselves. My readers are called the BBL’s and they are incredibly bright women who have read every romance novel ever written.  They often recommend books to me and have even taken over reviewing books for my blog.

I am still a novice and have not read many books but I know what I like. Paranormal is not really my thing. I have a hard time relating to characters that aren’t real. I have read one historical and I liked it but mostly contemporary romance is what I like. I have been very surprised at the talented writers in the romance community and their ability to continually create new ideas.

I think that men are missing a big opportunity by not reading these books – they are like a blueprint for what women like. When I started reading them I would read them in bed at night with my wife and had a very positive effect on our marriage and sex life. Most importantly it gave us something to talk about.

It pisses me off now when I hear people refer to romance as “mommy porn”. The fact is I don’t read these books for the sex – if I wanted that I would just watch porn. I read them because they are well written books with good story lines and they are entertaining. I will continue to read them and recommend them to other people – especially men. That is the goal of my blog – to get men to read these books because I think it is something that can bring them closer to their wives. Essentially I am like Oprah except I am white and have a penis.

Me again. Incidentally – I think y’all should know. After numerous emails (and tweets) back and forth with RM… this is/was his state. And confession – I’m pretty sure that’s what he’s like in general. Yes, complete with the lights and techno. Shhh don’t tell him. 😉 Actually, haha, he brought it up first. 😛

0 thoughts on “The ALBTALBS Debut of The Romance Man!

  1. LG

    Romanceman, will you please publish a book for all men on how to properly stimulate a clitoris. I have found very few really understand that.
    Oh, and you have many talents, not just that one. Because since I started joining in your blog conversation, I have been enlightened, amused, and just about laughed my ass of some days. Please keep doing what you’re doing. LG

    Reply
  2. Tina B

    Awesome, Limecello and RM!!! Thank you for that!
    RM, you are hilarious! I have read a few posts on your blog, but have not actually responded to them. And I can honestly say that everyone of them that I have read had me literally laughing my ass off. Wait, if that was the case, I would be able to fit into those old genes. 😀
    Thanks for making sharing and me smile.

    Reply
  3. Pat F.

    Well, I stayed up so I could say hello. Great post, as always!
    Thanks for mentioning the BBL. Eyes are closing…. Good night ….. 🙂

    Reply
  4. Thecrazygranny

    Great post RM, can’t say more. Hubs is playing me videos of Deep Purple and Blackmores Knight. Did you know that Ritchie Blackmore started a celtic type band after Rainbow and Deep Purple? Its good stuff. I’ll try and sneak in from work tomorrow. Now he’s playing Buckcherry! I’m off to sleep…

    Reply
  5. Rahab M

    Yay!! The Romance Man is finally on ALBTALBS! And as usual I cannot read any post by him without LOL! Looking forward to future posts. The video was a really nice touch too Limecello 🙂 Goodnyte Pat!

    Reply
  6. Kate Douglas

    Hey RM! I love the fact you’re getting out and about and finding an even wider audience. And thanks to Limecello for showcasing your truly awesome talent. (and no, I am NOT being either snarky or facetious. I truly admire what you’ve accomplished in a very short time, and I love being part of the BBL.)

    You’ve got a truly worthy goal–educating men through the power of romance books. I’m just really sorry you’re not all that interested in gay wolf sex (Sheesh…now you’ve got me saying it!) but thank goodness Lexie appreciates a good, kinky romance!

    Just keep doing what you do so well. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. 🙂

    Reply
      1. Kate Douglas

        See? I knew you’d go for a three-way…stop hiding your inner desires, sweetie. You, me, the therapist.He’s a bit older than you, but looks REAL good…and Lexie’s welcome, too.

        Reply
    1. Limecello Post author

      Kate – you wouldn’t believe the negotiations that took place last minute! It was like a freaking missle crisis!!! International Law and relations wasn’t that difficult! XD

      Reply
  7. Laurie P

    I love the fact that you RM, are getting the word out. I am a fan of your blog. I have laughed until I cried from the pain in my sides and snorted wine out my nose when reading your blog. (wine is very sticky on laptops)

    Oh..and please do the clit blog next time, pretty please. Men need to know these things!

    Reply
  8. Stephanie

    Thanks Limecello and RM! RM since discovering your blog a few weeks ago I have laughed harder and longer than at anything in a long time. My kids keep asking me what the heck is so funny! I love hearing your POV on romance and everything else you talk about, and I’ve enjoyed your other readers as well. Maybe eventually you can convince my DH to start reading…You have a great thing going, I’m so glad I found you!

    Limcello, loved the video! 🙂

    Reply
  9. Sheri

    Great post 🙂 I love your blog, RM, you never fail to entertain and enlighten. Keep up the fantastic work!

    Reply
  10. tsteinerid

    Great intro and the video was fantastic! I have been a fan for a long while now and I couldn’t be happier. Thanks for the smiles and the chuckles. Keep it up!

    Reply
  11. jayakawp

    Lexie, why does he keep saying that you beautiful babies are allegedlly his? Come on, man up, RM aka huggybear oh sorry, Matador,sir. Snort.

    And I think with Lexie’s book and yours, you’ll be sitting pretty so get to it!

    And i thought the turtle sex visual and polo players on dolphins was weird but you have topped yourself with a white Oprah with a penis. Auggggghhhh! Lol! You’re cracked!

    Reply
      1. ladybugsherri

        Thanks. I am trying to make sure I get the superior rating on my annual performance review from my pimp 🙂

        Reply
    1. Jayakawp

      @ladybugsherri, it such a cute name to bug him with. 😉

      @RM, one would hope so and even in some other parallel universe they aren’t, yeesh, man, you are the one raising them, so that does make you huggybear daddy RM. 😀

      Reply
  12. jayakawp

    I forgot to say thank you to Limecello for doing this and giving us even more RM! Love your video! 😆

    Reply
  13. stephanotis72

    Awesome post RM. I love your blog and the BBL! I don’t know what I would do without all the laughs you have brought me. White Oprah with a penis…priceless.

    BTW My hubby reads romance novels too and loves your blog he just never comments.

    I’m really dying to hear about your expertise on stimulation the clitoris. 🙂

    Reply
  14. Bella

    hey RM, nice to meet u! I am in grad school hell right this summer and havent been able to visit Lime’s blog as much as I’d like. And on top of that I had oral surgery earlier today so I’m pretty much in a beastly mood. But I found the idea of a man reading romance intriguing and had to read the post. Glad I did, you’ve made me laugh and feel so much better! lol thanks:) Actually I can relate a lot to your post. I was one of those peeps who thought romance novels weren’t real books until 2008. My mother is to blame for that but guess what? I made her give them a chance and now she’s totally hooked! But she’s like 100% paranormal fan lol. PS Lime, I love the crazee Kermie dance!

    Reply
  15. TrishJ

    Great post Lime and RM. I too follow RM’s blog. At first I was just curious about a guy that enjoyed romance books. But his blog is so much more. He IS hilarious. He blogs about whatever is on his mind … With no filter. And the ladies who follow him are just as much fun. I am always entertained and sometimes even educated. 😉 i have laughed and cried. If he got paid for his blogs, he COULD retire and live the life of leisure he dreams of.

    Reply
  16. ladybugsherri

    See? I am not as big an Oprah fan as you clearly are, RM. Now if you had said that you are like an author of a book stressing the importance of marriages being completely 50/50, handing out hugs to random (male) strangers, the lost art of snuggling, women’s top 10 fantasies, or how to make someone love you, I would have been all in. As it is, I just can’t seem to get on the Oprah with a penis train (I am not sure how to fix that sentence– it looks weird. Is it just me that thinks so?).

    And one more thing– at some point, you will have to turn 43. This blog has been going since February and don’t think these smart ladies haven’t noticed that you haven’t had a birthday yet. We need significant notice to plan the birthday party. Channing Tatum and Matthew McWhattha….. (I don’t know the etiquette rules on this blog so I am restraining myself) have busy schedules. They aren’t like regular strippers– we will have to book them well in advance. One of the girls (volunteer, somebody) is working on finding some testudine porn (is that okay to say here?) for the big party. IHOP is catering (under Granny’s expert oversight). I reserve the right to amend the party plans later today when my brain is more awake. Chime in ladies, this shindig won’t plan itself :).

    Reply
      1. mceckk

        You did it now, Prepare I have a feeling your birthday won’t go unnoticed and it will be big – remember those big birthday bashes Oprah had!

        Reply
  17. Thecrazygranny

    RM,
    It has been barely over a week, and I see you have already forgotten the correct way to blog. Since you seem to have forgotten to ask a question I thought of the perfect one.
    Hey, I just blogged to you, could you go like my Facebook page, maybe?

    Reply
      1. mceckk

        and to think months ago you claimed to not know a thing about all this social networking stuff – you could write a book – The Dude’s Guide to Talking to Women Thru Social Networking….ok a working title

        Reply
  18. ravenmystquie60

    That was great RM I found your sight from Kate Douglas and been hooked from the first blog I read your funning and refreshing and I tell all my friend to read your blog.

    Reply
  19. mceckk

    RM, nice to see you out and about. I hope more blog readers check your site out as you have a great voice. And I will check back here in September to see your thoughts! I agree with LG you forgot to end with a question – or maybe Lime doesn’t follow those rules.

    Reply
  20. Diane

    Wow, this blog is really nice. It doesn’t have dirty socks and crumpled Slimjim wrappers on the floor. I think it is great that Limecello is brave enough, I mean, kind enough to have you on her blog on a regular basis. Cause the Muppet flail? Every day folks, every day. And thank you Granny for mentioning the BBL’s little project to get RM more FB likes. We really could use some help because we have our hands full. No, really, we have our hands FULL.

    Reply
    1. ladybugsherri

      Some of us have our hands full, Diane. Others of us (me) aren’t ambidextrous and only have one hand full. What I lack in ambidexterity, I make up for in enthusiasm 🙂

      Reply
  21. Laurie

    Hi Lime and RM, great post, you both crack me up! Great to see that you’ll be here again. I don’t comment much on your blog, but I do follow it. I love to see what you come up with.

    Reply
  22. Selena Robins Musings

    Thanks, Limecello for escorting RM out of his blog-cave and introducing him to more people, so they too can kick-start their day with a lot of laughs. Although, there should always be a warning after he blogs, for people not to have any liquids in their vicinity while reading. Orange juice is a bitch to remove from the monitor and keyboard.

    RM another great read, which I hope will lead you to write your own book, if nothing else, a how-to-love-romance-and-everything-romantic for men. Those single guys out there could use your shoot-from-the-hip advice.

    I hope you get a ton more followers on Twitter (hint Limecello LOL) and people liking your FB page and following your blog.

    The BBL’s are awesome women, fun to chat with and know how to keep you check, but you have to start listening to our fashion advice. You need some silver to go with your alpha tights and cape. 🙂

    Reply
  23. Nina Pierce

    Hear! Hear! RM!

    I was reading romance before I hit puberty. I didn’t know it had a bad rep until I started writing it. By then … I didn’t give a [email protected]#% that some literary snobs thought it was poor wriitng for frustrated housewives. Whatever.

    Love your blog (though I don’t jump into the comment fray very often). It always makes me laugh!

    Reply
  24. Artemis

    Take a bow – great debut! Will be waiting for your blog on the proper way to stimulate the clitoris. Can never have enough information on that front!

    Reply
  25. Sharon Horton

    Great read! I’ve had men, who find out I write Romance books, say right to my face, “Oh, smut books.” I then ask if they’ve ever read any and they say “No.” So how do they know they’re “smut books” if they’ve never read Romance books, and how the h*ll do they know what I write if they haven’t read my books. It’s all very annoying. LOL

    My books tend to “fade to black” in the love scenes, but even if they were explicit that doesn’t give men (or women) the right to assume all Romance is nothing more than “smut books” – especially if they’ve never even read any. It’s nice you have an open mind. 🙂

    Reply
      1. Sharon Horton

        LOL, it would be tempting, but I’m not very good at being rude back to people. I just chalk it up to them being angry at the world, so it’s their problem if they’re missing out on great stories. I suppose we should feel sorry for them. In my latest book (about firefighters), I dedicated it to a friend who is a firefighter – he swears he’ll read the book. I can’t wait to hear his reaction. But even if he didn’t like it, he’d never say anything. What’s that saying about if you can’t say something nice, say nothing at all? I guess some people never heard that.

        Reply
      2. ladygodivamagic

        I like RMs reply but I’m not sure I could pull it off 🙂 I have said exactly what Sharon says though.

        Reply
  26. Selena Robins Musings

    Hey, Sharon, glad you hopped on over. RM, I sort of said that to someone the other day. It was a male author who was calling romance novels, “silly” “stupid” among other things. Not only was he insulting the writers, but all the readers as well. I told him, writers are big time readers, and he can be sure I won’t be supporting any of his books.

    Since he wouldn’t stop with the insults, then I let him have it and left that writing group. Don’t need that kind of negativity in a group.

    P.S. My husband thought my last response to him was classic and it got him all fired up. Doesn’t take much. LOL

    Reply
    1. Sharon Horton

      You got flack from a member of a writing group? How awful. Did anybody stand up for you? Whether we like a genre or not, there is no excuse for putting down someone in a group that’s supposed to support and help one another. Hopefully, that rude-dude will never get published, or if he does I hope he gets lots of negative reviews. I can’t imagine how angry and hurt you must have been. Actually, I can, which is why I’d love to know this guy’s name so I can ignore him. LOL

      Hope RM reads our books…and loves them. 😉

      Reply
  27. Selena Robins Musings

    Sharon, a lot of the writers in that group were too intimidated by him to stand up to him. I held my ground. I’m proud of the genre and I won’t give out his name, he’s shown is ignorance on all his own.

    Reply
    1. ladygodivamagic

      Yea! The BBLs have balls too! Good for you Selena. There are some people who will never admit defeat, you just gotta walk away knowing what a dickwad they are.

      Reply
  28. Selena Robins Musings

    Thanks, RM, glad you enjoyed it. 🙂

    This is why we need to get the word out about your Blog to get more men to read your insights about our genre. Well, that, and because you’re so freakin’ funny and it will also teach some men to lighten up and develop a better sense of humor.

    Thank Goodness romance writers husbands have those traits.

    Reply
  29. Gertrude

    Dear Romance Man, I’ve been reading your blog for awhile and I need some man advice. Today you said reading romances together helped your marriage. My husband is bored with me and won’t even bother trying to explore the proper ways to stimulate my you know what. I haven’t the slightest idea how to get him to read a romance, and I’m afraid to find out whether, if he did, his preference would be for gay wolf sex or man woman. I am very confused – the man has no problem saying no to me if I bring up certain subjects. I didn’t want a new husband until I started reading your blog and realized there was a bigger world out there with men who really care. Where do I start?

    Reply
    1. theromanceman

      Wow. Gertrude I am totally not the person to ask for this because it sounds like the issues are deeper than sex. My advice would be to tell him exactly what you just told me. Tell him how you feel. Does he know you aren’t happy? As far as reading romance that is a little easier. Get a book that he may like (military romance is a good starter for men). Bring the book to bed and ask him if you can read him something then read him a sex scene. My wife was reading a book I didn’t want to read and every night she would read a sex scene and give me a blow job. I read the book – twice.

      Reply
      1. Gertrude

        a lot of problems started when I told him I hated his favorite football teams. Because I was sick of competing with Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Thursday and Friday nite lights.

        Reply
      2. ladygodivamagic

        Gertrude there is a really good sports series out by Jaci Burton, and the first in the series is an NFL quarterback. Maybe if you read that (with the hot guy picture on the front) he would pay attention and let you read it to him. Playing to Win is the name of the book.

        Reply
    2. Selena Robins Musings

      Gertrude, ladygodivamagic has a good point. Romances with sports heroes. Susan Elizabeth Phillips writes about a football team, which I think you would both enjoy. If your husband loves hockey, Rachel Gibson has a series that features hockey players as the heroes.

      Also, you could read Laura Corn’s books together.

      If all else fails, send him a link to The Romance Man’s blog and just tell him it’s about MMM arts and bacon. Once he’s there, he’ll be hooked to read a lot of the posts.

      Reply
      1. Gertrude

        Eureka! here’s what happened: i found a juicy page in the 50 shades book and tucked a $50 bill to bookmark a juicy part. And left it next to the channel changer. Well things HAPPENED! About an HOUR! later he smacked me on my derriere and told me to make him lunch. So while I was cooking, I peaked out into the living room because it was quiet. And he’s watching foxy news MUTED! and is still reading! Thanks, girls!

        Reply
  30. Sharon Horton

    I forgot to mention that my brother-in-law read Selena’s first book, Sabrina’s Destiny. He enjoyed it. He reads my books too and claims to enjoy them. My husband has read a couple, but he didn’t comment. 😉

    The shocker is, my father-in-law reads my books and actually says to people “And they’re not half bad.” I know he means that in a good way, but it’s almost like he’s surprised by the fact I can write a book and wants others to know it won’t be a waste of their time to read me. LOL

    Reply
    1. Selena Robins Musings

      LOL I remember that, Sharon. He went out to smell Sandlewood soap.

      I remember an interview Wayne Gretzky did where he admitted to watching soaps during the day, and then other hockey players admitted it too. So I really believe there are a lot of closet male romance readers. Kudos for the REAL MEN who admit and pass the word along.

      Reply
      1. Sharon Horton

        Why do so many people think Romance is smut? Don’t they know that the shows they’re watching on Lifetime are perfectly Romance? Real men don’t read Romance – but they sure enjoy what those women do to their heroes, don’t they? LOL I’ve been married for 34 years, so obviously having a Romance author in the family hasn’t harmed my marriage. In fact, I think it’s enhanced it. Oh, and in case any narrow-minded men are reading this, Romeo and Juliet is NOT a Romance. See, even Shakespeare knew the difference. “Take that, Benbridge Scholars!” You’ll know what that means if you know what that means. LOL

        Reply
  31. Marquita Valentine

    YAY, RM!!!! I’m so glad you’re finally getting outside of your comfort zone and letting people discover you. 😉 I love your blogs (especially when I get to write one, hee!)

    I also think it’s totally manly to read Romance Novels. My dad (former Marine) does with my mom. You’re welcome for that image.

    Thanks for having him on here, Limecello!

    Reply
  32. Tracy V. Nickels

    Yes I have and read em’ too. I’m a writer too, children’s book. Two have been
    published. Only I read them alone, not married. 60 years old not going to.
    Haven’t got yours yet sound very interesting. I will look for it.

    Reply
  33. fionadruce

    RM is becoming the Romance World’s Queen Bee 😀 😀 Great post, RM, as always! 🙂

    I wish I could get the old man to read Romance novels. He constantly says he doesn’t understand me and never knows what to do. “Um, dude? Romance novels.. it’s right there, in black and white.” 😀 😀

    I might have you email him for me :>

    Reply
  34. Stephanie

    RM I’m curious were you a book reader in general before you started reading romances? I’ve been trying to get my DH to read books since we got married with no luck. He reads other stuff, mostly news and things relating to his profession (which is boring as shit to me!). My daughter is old enough now that we talk books (not romances she’s12! lol) and it’s awesome!

    Reply
  35. mceckk

    So RM – what did you read before you read your first romance? Hubs is an action/Steven King reader. I am always looking for new authors for him since he travels and likes to keep some books on his Nook for when he gets stuck in airports. Still hasn’t read a romance – but I think Jessica’s Because Of You might be the trick.

    Reply
      1. mceckk

        So what is the favorite Biography you have read. And what is your favorite historical period to read about. Hubs really likes Tom Clancy – but ones he writes – not the inspired by Tom Clancy. The last one we picked up was Act of Valor.

        Reply
      2. Stephanie

        RM have you read “Unbroken” by Laura Hillenbrand? She also wrote Seabiscuit. It’s about Louis Zamperini, WWII POW and Olympic runner. Amazing story! So well written it reads like fiction, couldn’t put it down.

        Reply
  36. Marilyn Adam

    I am new to Lime but can thank Kate Dougas for turning me on to both of you…..I LOVE not only RM’s blog but also the comments (!!!) and my hubs often roars with laughter when I show him the latest RM blog. Now, if only I could get him to read more romance. So far he has read “Deadly Fear” by Cynthia Eden and liked that a lot (he admitted he did get a boner a couple of times while reading).

    Reply
    1. Limecello Post author

      Thanks for visiting, Marilyn! I hope you stick around and check out other posts – I’ve got guest authors and readers all the time, and various giveaways too, to entice people. 😉

      Reply
  37. Alix

    Sorry I am so late getting over here. As usual Romance Man you are just plain awesomeness! I love your opinion on books and life, you always do it in a way that makes us laugh. I think we will all be waiting anxiously for the blog “the proper way to stimulate the clitoris”. Anyway, while we all wait for that post, we will continue to read the great musings of the white male Oprah. Thank you Limecello and RM!

    Reply
  38. Gina L. Maxwell

    Classic Remy! Can’t wait for the clitoris stimulation post. Think my husband will notice if I slip it into the Sunday paper? LOL Thanks for hosting our boy, Limecello. I look forward to his future visits. 🙂

    Reply
  39. picturelady129

    As always…. a day late and a dollar short!

    Great Post Limecello and RM. We learn more about RM everyday! I have tried to get my husband to read romance and I get a Big Fat NO….. BUT, he will read passages when I point them out and tell him that I REALLY like that one! LOL Of coarse, we end up laughing so hard that it ruins the mood! But that is fun too!!

    Looking forward to what else may come out of RM’s mouth!

    Reply
  40. Limecello Post author

    Hi Everyone! Heh, although it seems I’m rather extraneous at the blog. :X Thank you RM for agreeing to post here! Glad all that worked out – despite the many muppet flails.
    Note – first, swearing is definitely allowed. And I’d welcome it – so I can finally stop feeling like I have the mouth of a sailor/am the only one here who ever cusses.
    Second, I did not threaten to cut RM’s balls off. However, if the situation ever called for it, I would not hesitate to inform him I’d rip his balls off if he ever did XYZ. Just so we’re clear. 😀

    Reply

Join the conversation!

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.