Tag Archives: Birthday Story

Special Birthday Guest: Silvara Wilde

Hi dolls! May I please just start out with “family. ugh” please? I mean the holidays and bright + cheer and love for all – peace on earth and goodwill. … but my family it seems was made to test your willpower in all those things. So my apologies in being … well, more bad-me-ish than usual.

HOWEVER today I do have the distinct pleasure of sharing another birthday post with you! Whee! Today we have Silvara Wilde, as you see. I do “birthday calls” on twitter, and learned hers – gosh, years ago? And her birthday just so happened to fall on a post date this year, and here we are! … She tells it better 😉 so without further ado … Silvara!!

I have to say how incredibly excited I was to be asked to write a birthday piece for Lime’s blog. And also, how incredibly blonde I can be. See, it went a little something like this:

Lime: Are you writing me a birthday post?

Me: Uh, no. But I totally can! *thinking to myself ‘I don’t think I know her well enough to write her a birthday post? But I can try!’* What do you want me to say?

Lime: Your birthday is the 27th, right? It can be about anything you want!

Me: Ok! Wait… You want me to write a post about MY birthday? I was totally thinking you wanted one about YOUR birthday! *laughs loudly enough to scare her cats out of the room*

Lime: AHAHAHAHA! I’m not THAT much of a selfish bitch!

Me: Didn’t think you were either one! That’s just what my brain jumped to. This would be why the Gods made me blonde. *nods*

[This happened on twitter, and it was close enough to verbatim that I actually put it in quotes :X]
And of course, none of that was exact words or anything. Just a kind of outline/guideline of what happened. Still makes me giggle to think of it. So! Birthday post stuffs!

Silvara Birthday!

As you can tell, I was born on December 27th. This year, I am turning 37. I still can’t believe how old I am getting to be, especially as people who don’t actually know me usually guess my age anywhere from 17 to 30 max. I always attribute that to the fact I am less than 5 foot tall, have hair to my waist, and of course very good genes.

One year my best friend and I went out to dinner for my birthday. I was… 26 I think that year? Anyway, the hostess sat us, gave my friend the normal menu, then handed me the 12-and-under kids menu and asked if I wanted a lollypop! Thought my friend was going to bust something she was laughing so hard, and the poor hostess got so red when I mentioned that I was kind of hungry and would like the normal menu. Since I was 26 and not 12 and all…

I always hear stories from other people who have birthday’s on or near a holiday. They all seem to have family that decide since the holiday is so close to their birthday, they can just give the person one gift and say it’s for both. Makes sense right? Well, not really. But then I have been super lucky in that regard. My close family (parents and grandparents), always thought that would be pretty rude. After all, if I’d been born some other time, I’d be getting separate presents. So I always got 2 piles of gifts under the tree. One set in Christmas paper, and one in birthday paper.

The only bad birthday I ever had, – that I can remember at least! – was my 16th. 16th birthdays are supposed to be special, or so I’ve always heard. Mine sure was. That was the year that my Dad FORGOT my birthday. To this day, neither of us has a clue how that was managed. I got up that day and expected something fun, maybe going to the zoo or the Monterey Bay Aquarium. Even the Winchester Mystery House, since those were my 2 favorite places back then. (Now too, but I no longer live in California…)

Nope! Instead, we managed to do everything I HATED that day. All kinds of errands, visiting people I didn’t like, anything boring or that a teenager would hate having to do? Oh yeah, we did it. By the time late afternoon came around, Dad finally had enough of my bad attitude and yelled at me asking why I was in such a foul mood. I mentioned that he would be too, if HE had to do all the stuff he hated on HIS birthday.

I can still remember the look on his face, like someone had hit him over the head with a board or hammer or something. The lights dawned and you could just see the “oh crap!” in his eyes. But I don’t really remember anything else that happened that day. If we went to dinner, or anything good. But since I don’t remember more bad stuff, that at least had to have stopped.

Nowadays, I don’t really do anything much for my birthdays. I usually go out to dinner if I can afford to, and I’ll buy myself something I’ve been wanting. Last year my present to myself was the Sims 4. This year I’m still debating on a few things.

Has anyone ever forgotten your birthday? Do you get the dreaded “1 combined gift for both birthday and holidays?” if you have a birthday on or near a holiday? Tell me and Lime something funny that’s happened to you!

Isn’t she such a great sport? <3 Everyone please wish Silvara a very happy birthday, and tell us what birthday mishaps have happened to you. >.> Misery  – and comedy – loves company, right? 😀 [I confess, making that image took an embarrassing amount of time. So everyone send Silvara virtual birthday cakes too!]

Happy Birthday, Tori! (Our Special Reader Birthday Girl Guest)

My friends! Guess what?! Today is Tori’s birthday! Yes, @smexys_sidekick herself!) I’m so excited and I love this post! (And it’s also Danielle Kendall and Brianna (TBV)’s birthday too!) However, I only pounced on one of them. For today. 😀 So yes. I put the birthday girl to work. She agreed, ok?!?!

Birthdays, Mrs. Beasley, and Ivory Soap

After I turned 40, I have stopped celebrating birthdays. I like to take the day to something I want to do or rather, what the kid thinks I want to do. When Limecello asked me if I wanted to post on her birthday post I was thrilled. I started thinking about birthdays and I was reminded of a story my mom STILL loves to tell and I enjoy telling.

Growing up, I was a hellion. I didn’t mean to be bad but I had a lot of energy and my mama said I was much too smart for my own good. lol Trouble didn’t find me…I actively looked for it.

For my 4th birthday I decided that I wanted a Mrs. Beasley doll. Nothing else would do.

My birthday dawned bright and beautiful. I’m a summer baby and June in Indiana is about as good as it can get. So excited, I sat down and bounced my way through breakfast. My mom said I talked a mile a minute-all about Mrs. Beasley. After committing some mild misdemeanors (apparently I decided that our goldfish Goldie and Hawn wanted to visit the ocean via the toilet, our basement stairs were perfect for box sledding, and I needed a birthday haircut) it was BIRTHDAY TIME!!!!!

My mom dressed me in my favorite flag overalls and matching striped t shirt. Don’t judge, it was 1974. Newly cut hair was snapped into tiny stubby ponytails, and we gathered around the cake. As everyone began to sing Happy Birthday my mama says I waved my hands around and said, “No, no, no. No cake. I want Mrs. Beasley.” My mama, being the awesomelicious person she is, handed me my fondest dream come true. Mrs. Beasley. I was in HEAVEN. She was beautiful. She talked and her clothes came off. w00T!

Now, my bestest friend in the whole wide world at that time was Jimmy Kowalski. He was 5 and my on and off boyfriend depending on what flavor of ice cream his mom had that week. Jimmy and I shared everything, so I suspect he thought Mrs. Beasley was no different. Poor Jimmy. He learned the hard way about women and sharing that day.

Everyone wanted to play with Mrs. Beasley and we were all happy until mama found out I was charging all the kids a quarter to hold her for 10 minutes (which in 4 yr old time was about 2 seconds). So she sent us outside to play and give her some peace and quiet. Now this part I remember like it was yesterday. We were all playing on the swing set when Jimmy came up and rudely snatched Mrs. Beasley out of my hands. I guess he was cheesed because I wasn’t paying him any never mind. So there he was, running around me in circles, swinging Mrs. Beasley over his head calling me a doll playing poopyhead. The nerve, right? When my mama stuck her head out to see what the fuss was about she heard me say, clear as day, “Give me back Mrs. Beasley you god d*$#m son of a b&^*h.” *thud* You could have heard a pin drop. Now me, not having an ounce of self preservation, repeated word for word what I said when my mama asked me what I had just said. Then I walked over snatched my doll back and socked Jimmy in the nose.

Jimmy squealed and ran home. Of course I got in a load of trouble. My mama didn’t believe in spankings but she believed in the gospel according to Ivory. Ivory soap. To this day I cannot even smell it without my mouth watering and that nasty taste drifting across on my tongue. *shudder* After a good old fashioned mouth scrubbing and lecture, my mama frog marched me to Jimmy’s house to apologise.

Did I apologise?

Yes, I did. I told him I was sorry I punched him in the nose but he was never to touch my god d*$#m doll again. After another communion with Ivory soap, my mama sat me down and asked if I understood WHY I was getting a mouth full of Ivory instead of cake and going to bed early.

I replied, “Yes. Because that son of a b&^*h Jimmy wouldn’t leave my god d*$#m doll alone.”

I don’t think it was long after that before my mama started having little wine “pick me ups” during the day.

Come on – that was hilarious. So wish the birthday girl[s] a very happy, special day, with perhaps less interesting children, and more with the wine, yes? ;D

Oh and specifically – remember to wish Tori a very happy goddamn birthday, okay?!