成为怨偶的第七年 (Chéng Wéi Yuàn’ Ôu De Dì Qī Nián; The Seventh Year of Being an Unhappy Couple) by 宁夙 (Ning Su)
Historical romance webnovel published in 2024

Ning Jinhua and Lu Hanxiao are a match made in heaven. One is a daughter of a noble family, the other is a prince of a vassal state – childhood sweethearts, a young couple, but they ended up with a tragic ending.

Perhaps even the strongest feelings cannot withstand the erosion of time. After marriage, the young couple spent less time together and more time apart, and each felt that the other had changed. She disliked his coldness and indifference, and he disliked her indulgence and willfulness. They quarreled countless times, quarreled and made up, made up and quarreled again, and broke up and got back together, becoming a famous couple in the capital.

In the sixth year of their marriage, Ning Jinhua packed up her belongings and moved out of the mansion, while Lu Hanxiao left the capital and returned to the vassal state of southern Yunnan to tend to his father, the old prince. The couple were thousands of miles apart and had not exchanged a single letter.

Ning Jinhua thought, let it be, the young man who once held a lantern for her may have disappeared long ago. Rather than getting further tired of each other, it is better to break up. When he comes back, she will legally separate from him.

*

A year later, Lu Hanxiao stepped on a pile of corpses and became the new King of Zhennan, dominating the area. In the same year, the Ningguo Mansion in the capital was involved in a treason case and the whole family was exiled.

By the time the news reached southern Yunnan, it was the coldest month of the year. It was snowing heavily outside, with the snow was already above the ankles.

Lu Hanxiao was silent for a while, then he put on the fox fur that Ning Jinhua had sewn for him and rushed to the capital overnight.

The theme of this month’s TBR challenge is “older couple” – I’m a bit amused by how much my journey into cnovels has changed my perspective when I’m like “… sure yes a 23 year old fits.” Heh. LET ME EXPLAIN. First of all, in the time period, women/girls come of age at 15. (It’s set in made up dynasty in ancient China.) Then also, they’ve already been married for seven years – and the book goes much further, taking us well into their 40s. Anyway, they’ve also known each other for nearly eighteen years at the beginning part of the book. I did try to think of other cnovels I’ve read where the older couple would fit our current modern standards too – I know I’ve read a few, but my sieve mind has totally blanked … and more I really want to talk about this book. I have mixed feelings here, and am not entirely sure how I feel about this book, but the fact that it made me think so much will stick with me for a long time.

The universe tends to play with me – and I inadvertently pick books with similar characters/themes/tropes, entirely unknowingly. (Different authors, written at different times, so on and so forth. After reading this book I happened to pick up another with a very similar yet different heroine – so the comparison was even more stark.) Anyway, a lot of people will truly dislike this heroine. Ning Jinghua has largely had a life all of us would practically kill to get. She’s been loved, spoiled, and pampered her entire life. Her biggest blow was when her natal family was exiled … but other than losing that not entirely necessary support system, not much changed for her. (I’m over simplifying things – she had a lot going on, not the least being a secret pregnancy …) A single bowl of soup she has daily basically costs more than what an average family could live on for a year.  She makes little personal improvement, and honestly she’s never lacked for any food, shelter, or security. She is incredibly immature, and I thought it was interesting that the author actually wrote that. Most heroines in cnovels are 15-20 (or oh god, younger – though definitely not married before then …) – and they’re largely capable, often over powered. I get that’s what a lot of people are looking for and want in their leisure reading. That’s something I really enjoy as well. However, Jinghua is absolutely her age, and in fact falls far behind her peers. I’d like to note though, that it is absolutely not all her fault. Her brother bent over backwards to keep her naive, and her husband even more so. In fact at one point she realizes he likes her a bit stupid – that way she can’t and won’t interfere with what he’s doing. At that point I was like “yes ok and what do we do about it?” … but with her? Nothing. It was nothing. So what bothered me about her is that every time I thought she was finally growing or about to change… nope. Not only did she not progress it often felt like she regressed.

Not to say she’s all bad. She’s incredibly generous (though, it’s not hard to be when you’ve never had to worry about money and can basically demand endless sums … *coughs* anyway.) She rescues all the female members of her family that she can, and even provides for them. She also tries to save other acquaintances, just because she feels it’s the right thing to do. At one point she has her friend managing her dowry shops, and gets a windfall of grain and circumstances would allow her to obtain a mind blowing amount of wealth … and she tells her business partner to donate it all to her husband to feed his army because getting food in this drought has been so difficult. In fact she and her business partner friend have a falling out because of it.

Our uh, hero is Lu Hanxiao. I’ve been thinking about his character a lot, and I don’t think he’s malicious. At least, not to our girl. But the issue is … he – well it’s hard to explain. He both does and doesn’t treat her well. In part, it’s that he doesn’t know how to. He was sent to the capital as a hostage, alone, at age 8. He had to care for himself, navigate the awkwardness of his father being a vassal king, and then the mess in his own family. While not the imperial family, it was basically the same. So he’s got no real connection or affection to his father or brothers, and in fact kills most of them. (This 😅 is a very common theme in cnovels – kill or be killed. So we don’t blame him for that either.) He spent very little time with Jinghua after they got married, but he was busy trying to literally just stay alive. Not only that, but he had nothing, and has to wrack his brain to get money and resources to provide for her incredibly lavish lifestyle. That’s not to say he’s blameless – he’s incredibly controlling, I’d even save abusively so, and they are an absolute mess. Emotional support doesn’t exist for him, and he doesn’t understand the need for it. He shows his love through material things. He also can’t comprehend her insecurity in the marriage, so there’s that too.

Lu Hanxiao loves Ning Jinghua from the very depths of his being though, and wants to give her everything good in the world. He wants her happy, worry free, and to have the absolute best. (He also thinks they can live happily and wait to spend time together once he gets done with his pesky little business of you know, taking the throne.) The issue is he doesn’t listen to what she actually wants (his time and attention). And he is ten million times next level possessive. (Another common cnovel trope…) At one point he essentially puts her under house arrest, and honestly I was as upset as she was.

At this point you’re probably like “… uh, what the fuck, Lime?” And yeah – THAT’S EXACTLY IT. This was so interesting because it’s an incredibly toxic book. I was so irritated with the author, and mad at [her] for all the melodrama and angst. Had I not read another book by her that I really enjoyed not long ago, I’d probably have DNF’d it. I also kept expecting like “ok well now things are going to change for the better, right? It’s going to happen any minute!” … And nope. Not until nearly the very end. What’s wild though is chapter 122 is where I got my “yay” and after finishing chapter 124, the final one, I literally threw my head back and yelled because “THAT’S IT?! WHERE’S THE REST?! I WANT MORE!” So it was impressive in and of itself the author kept me reading.

The book actually starts basically right after the set up from the blurb. These two damn people could’ve solved so goddamn many problems if they’d just communicated. They’re both incredibly proud though, and immature – so here’s where I say the author was realistic with the age. Even though they’ve been married for seven years … they’re both still young, just in their 20s. For her, early 20s. She’s never had to face “real life” – and everyone has been telling her how great her life is, how well her husband treats her. The thing is though, they’re basically living as strangers, and she feels isolated. One of the major themes in the book is you can’t know how a person is living, or whether they’re content or not because you aren’t that person. The author takes it both ways – with everyone first thinking Jinghua is ungrateful, to then later people wanting, even hoping she steps away … but her being happy in her situation.

Like I said, this relationship is incredibly toxic. But what really hit me is … even some books you’re like “they’re toxic, and even though they love each other and are in love, they’re better apart.” Here… that’s not the case! They both want to be together! Despite the toxicity! They’re happiest in their situation! Apart, neither would be okay. He only wants her – she’s more important to everything, even the throne. She … is okay with being controlled by him. She loves him, supports him, and wants to be in this situation. I think it was eight or nine years into their marriage (they spend a lot of time apart prior to that …) they do finally talk and he makes changes – instead of unilaterally deciding things, he explains himself or the situation. It helps a lot. She also grows up a bit and realizes the universe doesn’t actually revolve around her and money does not magically appear out of thin air, and he has important things to do. (She also has three children, so that takes her time and attention. Though the holy shit twists and turns with these children.)

Spoiler (lol but I don’t care since I don’t expect any of you to read this … and if it gets adapted into a drama … welp whatever. They’ll probably change it anyway.) One of their biggest points of contention, is that Jinghua thinks Hanxiao took their oldest son away from her when he was just born to curry favor with one of the imperial concubines. She’s very jealous of that person – and the bitch is also awful and prevents her from seeing her son in all the subsequent years … – ANYWAY. She’s incredibly angry with her husband for taking away their son. And at first you’re like “yeah guy, what in the actual fuck?” But then you start getting hints like … there’s more to the situation there. So why doesn’t he just fucking tell her? … and then when you find out the ins and outs, you’re like “… 😱🙊 well… shit. Ok, I get it now.” And since none of this makes sense, let me tell you the what and why.

Jinghua (we’ve established she’s no brain trust), wasn’t having a good time after getting married. She felt neglected, and also instigated by shitty people around her, thought she’d fix her marriage by having a baby. (Yeah, we all know how that goes. But she was very young, and this was ancient China.) Anyway, she was too young. And alone. She had an extremely difficult birth, and while the book doesn’t explicitly state it, I think she had severe postpartum depression. So much so that she had a psychotic break. Further instigated by shitty family, she decides everything is hopeless, so she plans on a murder-suicide for her son. She tries to stab her infant son in the heart with a hair pin, and is about to commit suicide. Thankfully the baby cried and someone heard the fuss and ran in to stop her in time.  (She’s also entirely blocked this from her memory – so she thinks her son’s birthday is 20 days later than it actually is. When they finally reunite just before he turns six, she thinks that imperial concubine is the one who caused his horrific scar, and that’s … a whole other thing.) Anyway, her husband actually brought their son to the imperial concubine because she’s a gifted healer, and was the only person who could save him. He also leaves their son with the other woman because he’s afraid of Jinghua having a relapse, or doing something to him, and honestly he doesn’t really care about or for the son because of all these problems he’s caused and the harm done to his wife as she nearly died in childbirth. (Look I’m not saying these relationships or reasons are healthy, it’s just what it is – and I might be stating it a bit badly.)

Jinghua does eventually figure/recall out what actually happened, and feels very sorry about it. She wrongfully hated her husband for nearly six years. But … you see why he didn’t simply tell her the truth? How do you say “well I let our son be fostered elsewhere because you lost your mind and tried to murder him. You just happened to think she’s the other woman but I don’t care about her.” He’d rather her hate him and misunderstand him than upset her, or possibly set off a relapse. A good chunk of the book is like that. (And truly, fear of another psychotic break is … a good reason to not clarify things. Especially in a time when psychology basically was an unknown.)

We also have people facing the consequences of their actions. Jinghua is selfish and spoiled, so even when she’s not the one causing problems, a lot of the time Hanxiao thinks she is/was the issue. (Actually most of these things never truly become problems, because he’s so indulgent, that even if she’s wrong, he’s like “my wife is never wrong, and even if she is … no she isn’t” and sides with her.) There’s one such instance where he doesn’t believe servants are mistreating her because in his mind they’re all just subordinates, and even he defers to her ~always, so how would his underlings ever even dare to not treat her with the utmost respect? Which 🤦🏻‍♀️. Guy. But there are a lot of times where he did so much for Jinghua, and never told her, so she just doesn’t appreciate it. She does truly love him though, and is willing to give him her everything, and would never leave him. Prior to the start of the book there had been a time where she might have, but that window closed quickly.

Honestly, my most favorite character in the book is Jinghua’s older brother – but unfortunately he’s only in a tiny fraction of the book. (He offers to take her away …)

Seven Years is a really compelling story, and it really pushed my “who are you to judge” boundaries. We have a few couples where the inside and outside perspective is totally different. (And they all resolve nicely too, so I appreciated that.) A common line or variations of it was “You are not a fish, so how can you enjoy the fish’s happiness?” And I found it interesting that these various characters would urge the other to change or leave, but the other person wouldn’t, because they were where they wanted to be in life.

It’s not an easy journey of growth and relationship development, with a lot of difficult outside factors and obstacles too. He becomes the emperor in chapter 107, and there are some cold wars between them that take place that finally get them to talk and change. As I said, when the book ended I was like “noooooo.” I’d definitely be willing to read more books by this author. I actually liked the other book (Years After the Substitute Marriage) by her more, but I’m not mad at all I read this one. So much food for thought! A toxic book that … works. What a ride.

(Oh erm 😅 I feel like I should note I read this book via google translate so there’s that too. I’m pretty sure I caught any errors, but, you know.)

Grade: C-